Faith
I have personally hired (and fired) hundreds of employees over the past several years, and this weekend, I had occasion to ruminate about what personal dynamics have best suited all involved in a cultural (be it workplace or personal) ecosystem.
I’m back to bachelorhood for the moment (my wife’s in India,) and I spent Sunday night stocking up on the requisite man-food: things from the frozen meals aisle. I was surprised at the variety of products that have recently found its way into freezer-display, and spent some time making notes on the percentage of healthy (or fad-diet) brands that have made it into circulation.
It was then that I received the call that started this entire process of rumination that I am now in the middle of. A colleague from a former work-life called, one with whom I had at one time, had very severe words, and at first, I wasn’t sure what to say. It was an awkward beginning to a phone call that I soon realized was a veiled plea for help.
The caller in question and I had been at war in a former life, both struggling for power, and I am ashamed to say, mild sabotage of each other’s careers. The caller was in a position much higher than mine, and I ended up getting the short end of the stick. I hadn’t heard from this person in a very long time, and had frankly forgotten about most of our battles.
Anyway, let’s call this person Casey.
It turns out that Casey’s been out of a job for nine months now, and needs some immediate help in finding a job in the marketing industry so that bills can be paid. Several dozen interviews have been had, but none that have led to a final offer. Casey is now desperate, and I seemed to be the only person Casey could trust with this information.
I was flabbergasted.
Why would someone with whom I had had such a contentious past consider me the right person to call with a desperate plea for help? Well, it turns out that regardless of our immature squabbling, Casey has always believed that I could do anything. He told me that one of the reasons we butted heads as much as we did is because he felt like I was the only person in the company who thought just like he did, and that our fights were a result of him feeling threatened. (You have to realize that when this happened, I was 23, and he was 29—we were kids.) And then he said something that really got me thinking: despite all of our squabbles, when it came to getting things done at work, he has never trusted anyone else more.
Of course, my first instinct was that he was blowing smoke up my ass, in order to refer him somewhere else. But then I realized that I actually felt the same way about him. I’ve always thought of Casey as one the smartest people I’ve ever met. I’ve had a million scenarios where I’ve wished for his brain and insight. I realized that I’ve, in fact, missed him.
The agency business is rife with posers. People who can’t cut it, or people who just don’t care. Getting someone who is smart, strategic and creative all at the same time--that’s really hard to find. I’ve done my best work when I have felt that the people I work with have faith in me. Of course, that faith has to be earned. But sometimes, faith, in its purest definition (of belief in something you cannot see, hear or feel,) just is.
I recently realized that one of the people closest to me in my life has very little faith in me, and my capacity to do anything. It is debilitating in some ways to feel that, especially when it comes from someone who you had counted on being a smart and dependable partner. We are at our best when we have cheerleaders; we are inspired, motivated, and committed. Faith is also something that takes a lot of time to rebuild, if it ever existed in the first place. It’s also easy for all of us to blame a lack of faith on specific incidents, or issues; but the truth is, intrinsic belief in something requires a special bond between people—and sometimes that’s there, and sometimes, it’s not.
Casey and I felt closer to each other in 45 minutes of a conversation than we have ever felt in 4 years of working together. And so, perhaps it is not that faith doesn’t exist; sometimes, faith may be just latent, and our ability to recognize people for their true natures requires a significant event, time, or both.
And so tonight, as I browse the fluorescent aisles loaded with pre-packaged meals that promise the best tastes on the planet, I wish the following for all of us: that we find work and life among people who have faith, respect and tolerance for us, even with all our idiosyncrasies; that our commitment to a job is also a commitment to the people we work with. And most of all, that we all get Sunday-night calls in grocery aisles that could just maybe restore stolen pieces of self.